Addicted to Love (raw & unedited)

I got an addiction, but not to drugs
I'm addicted to something called love
"Do you feign, withdraw, or or are you just stuck?"
I said, "Doc, Imma victim, to ALL of the above"
I'm addicted, but I dont snort or chug
I take my dose to the heart and love

For Giving, Forgiving

7/23/2009
7:45 AM

*the blue typing are the things I've added in after the poem. (Note the u.s. not capitalized & the alternation between forgiving and for giving.) Try reading with and without the add-ins.

For Giving, Forgiving:

I want to thank God for letting me live another day
For opening my eyelids so I can declare to be awake
For living in the united states so I can claim to be somewhat free
For giving me the drive, the desire to be all that I want to be
(all that I CAN be, like the navy)
For giving his sons life, to purge me of my sins
Forgiving me each time I sin over and over again
For GIVING me each time to I use to sin over and over again
After all, we're only human.
For giving me a functioning mind to learn from my mistakes
For two arms to welcome love, and two cheeks to turn to hate
(For giving me a heart fragile enough to break
For giving me endurance, so all this, I can take)
For giving me a voice, to praise His Holy Name
For giving me two hands, forgiving what they do to gain
For giving me this pen this paper, for the inspiration in my thoughts.
For giving me the creativity to say: We think what we are, but we are what we're not.
...(we're really taught)...

-Amen-


xOxO
Amber M.

Life

Man, I realized how many things are piling up: medical bills, taxes, work, school, exercise, and church. Im knocking them out one by one. IF SOMEONE WOULD WAKE UP we can get the show on the road. I NEED to learn to drive. Anywho, the kidd from the last blog, Im with him we're having a "trial" session. I know youre thinking im love dumb. But Im just following the Bibles advice and see where it gets me =] s0o if you wanna knock me for being religous then fine! Anywho.. Ill keep you updated later



Laters!

=]

Falling..

Out of a lot of things. Out of blindness. Out of Being Pressured. Out of Love. Into reality. Into being free. I've come to realize Ive been tricking myself (and Ive been tricked) into being happy when I knew I wasn't from the start. People said it will feel soo good when Im out of this ditch. And though Im not yet out, just REALIZING that Im on my way out feels amazing! Its like walking through a long dark tunnel and seeing signs of life at the other end. Im glad I didnt wait too long to realize. Speaking of walking long dark roads, I literally walked from sdsu to my house because the trolley stopped running and brandon wasnt on aim. Despite that, He took my toothbrush ate my ice cream locked my door twice and yelled at me. But it doesnt hurt anymore. Because Im not chasing an impossible thing. I cant wait to get back to me! I realized I was forcing myself to model when I dont feel like it. I mean yes maxim is awesome but I realized that in every aspect of life if you aren't happy then it means nothing. Ive been praying so long for deliverance and began to think that maybe that sad route was meant for me or that maybe i was doing something wrong. But Hes taking me out of the mud and putting my feed on solid ground. Im going to castings that I feel Im going to start eating and dressing right Im going to work out take music classes only model when I feel Im ready and Im going to attempt to stop cracking my knuckles. In january Brandons supposed to join the navy and I hope to God he does. Not just for me but for him. Ive been trying with him soo long it would bring me satisfaction to see that he lives on. After that, I will have overcome something so great (to overcome an abusive relationship. wow) and Im going to inform other of it, even thought love is hardheaded, it doesnt hurt to try. After that maybe I will have enough money saved and Ill be in shape and Im planning on getting my license by then. I will go to la and look for a roomie a job and get accustomed/find the area I like best. Then I will move (a HUGE step) and My career will take off from there. All while attending school. Where will life take me?! We'll see if I stay on track or go completely off or only veer off for a little..SIGH OF RELIEF....THANKS GOD!

-that's the way love goes!..-


Amber McKinney

My day Off

Mmk, my schedule kinda goes like this:

Have sex @ like 2am
Wake up at 7
Update my online networks
Eat..I think oatmeal
Get dressed
Morning routine : hair face teeth
Run
Chill w/ beebers
withdraw 400$ for the car auction thursday..
call back my potential "clients" (i think i missed a paid gig =/ )
Sushi w/ Neva..
Uhh idk after
Eat and talk while watchin t.v.
Shower
Night routine (same as day)
Chill
sleep
(i need to read the Bible, dnt lemme forget)

*sidenotes, my love life is s0oper c0ol for now..I didnt want to see my mom yesterday b/c shes been on hard drugs but I had to, s0o yea..I love her, I just dont want to relive what I lived..
*omg I cant i didnt think before I told brandon that we're going to vegas, I thought we had ALL planned to go (me neva prisana and brandon) i forgot at the time I wasnt with him. I dnt want to upset him or make him feel unincluded by telling him "oh i forgot you cant go" but at the same time i dont want to them to be like oh lets invite amber, wait, she always brings her b.f. along. I can totally understand if this is a girls thing! but if it was then, genevas gonna be with mikey. hmm..i dnt want to upset or disappoint anyone, plus im supposed to be prisanas company. But no worries b/c I remember because brandon said he would leave for like a day to see his vegas family. and he s0o gets along with mikey. And while hes gone me and prisana can chill. I can s0o balance this. plus I wanna see my uncle. it would be my first road trip so things should work out. as long as theyre okay with it too. and idk if were riding in nevas car or brandons/mine or if were taking both. I think we'd save gas taking one but if we all want to do different things then two?? unless we can drop brandon off and do our thing and get him when he calls...and then with work, that week ill tell her to make me work like 8 hours to make up for the days off. BUT hopefully mollys not gonna be a BITCH about it...we will see in due time. one of my baddest habits (0r g0od) besides cracking my knuckles is that im a planning freak, and the future doesnt follow your plans, s0o why worry?? omg ok, s0o imma ask neva later when she comes over...*fingers crossed* =D

tomorrow geneva and prisana are coming over for MORE sushi and movies
thursday i go to the car auction with geneva and brandon
I hope prisana and geneva are getting along now..

much love!!

Amber Mmmm!
xOxOxO

The Update

Okay, so here's the big story:

Ok so my b.f. broke it off a couple of days ago, to make matters worse I didnt even know!, until I stated we were together the next day and he told me he didnt know I thought that. On top of that he started being all extra nice, saying hes there as a "friend". That kills me, when someone you love soo much and someone your giving your all to make it work, is cool with you just as a friend. Then out of nowhere, as if acting nice wasnt bad enough, he started kissing me and doing all the things I wanted him to do when we were together!!!!. Now Im like ok do we go out or no. My mind is soo lost because Ill flip between getting used to the him that acts like we're together and the him that acts like were not. and if we're not WE LIVE TOGETHER so how am I supposed to get over him this way?! And ever since I started showing emotion back I've just been getting neglected. And it really hurts because I soo am showing him all the love I possibly can. And assholes like kyrel are incouraging him to mess with other people and he's going for it! I gave him a backrub last night and he rolled over and talked about fucking other girls. White girls, geez that makes me feel better, my roomies are white! She had the nerve to convince him to breakup with me when its none of her business No matter what anyone told me I didnt listen, wow so youre telling me one person comes along and opposes us and you agree?! reality check, Im the one living here not him. So you gotta get along with me, and your just helping him ruin his life more, you could have got him put out. Im not that mean. But everything bad that happens to him is supposedly my fault anyways. To do all this stuff for him and him degrade me saying Im less than a woman and all the other stuff, is a huge blow to my ego. idk what to do! Im trying and giving it my all. I guess the next thing thats left to do is give up. but i wont let myself right now, I know before this I saw him as the bad person in the relationship, and deep down inside i know he had a huge negative impact on it, but I wont let myself believe it, I convinced myself its all my fault. I dont know why im trying to make it work when hes not trying anymore. Im wasting my time. man, and when i start to get a social life, i dont want to because i want to be with him plus if i talk to someone else right now i really shouldnt because im not closing one off before the other and thats not fair to them, or what could be. So I met this guy and turns out I know him from somewhere, hes 21 and real mature & cute (from the outside) and he lives right up the street from me, he asked me to go out to eat with him, and it sparked a little interest, but like i said im working on brandon right now and i wont make a move with someone else unless me and brandon are a done deal, it feels like it, on my side, but its not confirmed. So I dont want to feel like i used that guy to get a drink but idk what to do. I just wish things were back to the way they were. But they're not, and I am where I am. I know what I did, and this, is my karma...I guess..

signed, sealed, delivered..

Amber Mmmm!
xOxOxO

horoscopes

the bold are the ones which apply to me:

Daily Flirt:

a little time thinking about the right way to get things done, then take baby steps until you're where you want to be. Slow things down, no matter how excited you are to move forward. Spend

Daily Couples:

You need to get some answers, but you're not even sure what the questions are. If your partner's worried, tell them you just need a little more time to yourself to work things out.

Daily Singles:

One minute you want to be alone, the next you're bemoaning your singledom. Let the moods come and go, but try to figure out why you're flip-flopping so wildly at the moment.

Quickie

You're moving through a new social phase. Use this time of solitude to recharge.

Overview

Self-reflection isn't one of your favorite hobbies, but today is a great time to get some new insights into who you are and what you do. Look in the mirror and soak up a few clues.

Overview

You're the life of the party right now(?), and around people is where you want to be. Jump into the festivities with both feet, show off your conversational skills and slay 'em with your wit. Anyone new you meet will be instantly enamored of you. If you're single, one of these fresh admirers may turn into something romantic; if you're coupled up, your honey will get a kick out of this social butterfly version of you.

Rather than letting moodiness rule your workday, diagnose its source. Perhaps something at home is bothering you, or maybe you just need some exercise. Be proactive and get back to your positive self.

Its a super looong story, trust. All I know is that I dont know if Im single or not. I mean if your gonna break it off do it completely and dont show me love. It just makes it harder on me. But if you keep kissing me and saying you love me then you obviously wanna be with me, or have sex. Man I wanna sock the shit out of my roomie for getting him to break up with me. Bitch...Anyways, idk what to say Ive been in and out of depression for the past week. I DONT EVEN EAT ANYMORE!! and if i do its only sushi....ill update you guys later. I got work


peace & Love...
not..
hate & war..
Amber =[

...

have you ever like, wanted to die???




...thats how I'm feeling right now...

Them who have ears, let them hear.

Mystery of Iniquity

It's the mystery of Iniquity
It's the Misery of Iniquity
It's the History of Iniquity
And It All, All falls Down
I'm Tellin You All, it all Falls Down

Children Eat Your Bread
Little Children Eat Your Bread
Cause It All, All Falls Down
I'm tellin You all, It All Falls Down

Y'all can't handle the truth in a courtroom of lies
Perjures the jurors witnesses spies
Crooked lawyers false indictments publicized
It's entertainment the arraignments the subpoenas
High profile gladiators in blood thirsty arenas
Enter the dragon black robe crooked balance
Souls bought and sold and paroled for 30 talents
Court reporter catch the circus on a paper
File it in the system
Not acknowledged by the Maker
Swearing by the bible
Blatantly blasphemous
Publicly perpetrating that in God we trust
Cross examined by a master manipulator the faster intimidator
Receiving the judge's favor
Deceiving sabers
Doing injury to their neighbors
For status, gratis, apparatus & legal waivers
See the bailiff representing security
Holding the Word of God soliciting perjury
The prosecution, political prostitution
The more money you pay, the further away solution
Legal actors, babylon's benefactors
Masquerading as the agency for the client
Hypocritical giants, morally non compliant
Orally armed to do bodily harm
Polluted recruited & suited judicial charm
And the defense isn't making any sense
Faking the confidence of escaping the consequence
Now the defendant is dependent on a system
Totally void of judgement

Purposely made to twist him
Emotional victim blackmailed by the henchmen
Framed by intentions inventions whereby they lynch men

Enter the false witness slandering the accused
Planting the seed openly
Showing he's being used
To discredit edit headed for the alleged
Smearing the individual fearing the unsuspected
Expert witness the paid authority
Made a priority to deceive the majority
Of disinterested peers dodging duty for years
Hating the process
Waiting to return to their careers

Do we expect a system made for the elect
To possibly judge correct
Properly serve and protect
Materially corrupt, spiritually amuck
Oblivious to the cause
Prosperously bankrupt
Blind leading the blind
Guilty never defined
Filthy as swine
A generation pure in its own mind
Legal Extortion blown out of proportion
In vain deceit the truth is obsolete
Only 2 positions, victimizer or victim
Both end up in destruction
Trusting this crooked system

Mafia with diplomas
Keeping us in a coma
Trying to own a piece of the American Corona
The revolving door, insanity every floor
Skyscraping paper chasing, what are we working for?
Empty traditions, reaching social positions
Teaching ambition to support the family superstition
When the son of perdition is commander in chief
The standard is thief
Brethren can we candidly speak
Woe to the men
Trusting in the chariots them

Leaning on horses they run
To intellectual sources
Counterfeit wisdom creating the illusion of freedom
Confusion consumes them, every word they speaketh entombs them
Outwardly white, internally they're absent of light
Them trapped in the night & bondage to the 'caine in the night (Canaanite)
Under the curse, evil men waxing more worse, faxing the first
Angelic being cast to the earth, it's time for rebirth
Burning up the branch and the root
The empty pursuits'
Of every tree bearing the wrong fruit
Turn and be healed
Let him who stole, no longer steal, oh Israel
Surrender for Jehovah is real
How long will you sleep
Troubled by the thoughts that you keep
The idols you heap
Causing the destruction you reap
Judgment has come
Find it and return to the One
Abandon the flesh
Self-interest "broadway to death"
Pride and the greed hiding subdividing the seed
The knowledge of good and evil is what caused us to lie
Caused us to die
Let your emotions be crucified
Renounce all your thoughts
Repent and let your mind be retaught
You'll find what you sought
Was based on the deception you bought
A perception of naught where the majority remains caught
Loving a lie, not realizing in Adam all die

It's the mystery of Iniquity
It's the Misery of Iniquity
It's the History of Iniquity
Oh And It All, all falls Down
I'm tellin You All, it all Falls Down

My hOrOscOpe say it all....

You are going to be turning heads today. You have a kind of radiance that people can see from blocks away. And you're intelligent. And sweet. And heroically patient. In short, you're unstoppable.

&&

You'll be surprised today when someone powerful puts themselves at your disposal. It turns out that they are trying to impress you, while all along you thought that you were trying to impress them! You should definitely take advantage of their friendly advances, but try not to take advantage of their selflessness. This is a delicate situation -- you are flattered by their efforts but not totally sure that you want them to see how much you need their help.

..Ill explain it all later...when I get this, situation, figured out..

...Off to work! tata!...

Amber M!
xOxOxO

Yesterday...today!

I haven't updated you guys on whats been going on..

• Ive been working AS USUAL! Yea, that thing, the thing that takes me away from my fantasy world and brings me back to reality...work! Ive been stressing because we have a new manager and for some reason she's giving everyone hours but me! She thinks its not fair I have the most hours 24/7. But if she only knew I earned it. Ive been through everything with that stupid store and never complained not once! She gave the hours I told her I was sposed to have to israel. I explained to her I have to pay bills, she didnt care. Im so pissed I didnt leave them to fall and go to that other job! Anyways, I told her she should just give me the hours, not only because I have to pay bills. Nope, not just for my personal benefit. But because no one else can stand working there everyday but one day besides me. So like I knew, Israel called and asked me if I wanted to come in from 2:30 to 9:30...BLAH..Right after I made plans for lunch with geneva & prisana! I was happy yet upset happy because I want/need the extra money but upset bc I really wanted to go out to lunch! I havent chilled with anyone in FOREVER!! So I decided to push it to the limit and I went to lunch and had them take me to work after I showed them my house..So I only missed two hours (18$$) which is okay because I basically made that up in tips! Im all about $$! I need to buy a new car so I can learn how to drive.
  
• I went out with Geneva & Prisana yesterday...It was cool, I havent been out with anyone in forever. I thought I came off kind of dorky because I felt like I was bugging them to hang out with me! They look soo grown up! Anyways we went out to eat at Chili's and it was kool. we talked about everything in general in life (high school, work, school, what we're doing now, what others are doing now..) and yea I realized we have a lot in common. I didnt know they didnt eat pork like me and I didnt know geneva's never been to a party & prisana doesnt have any tattoo's. They werent like all my other friends who were drama and ghetto and everything. Theyre really nice fun loving people. I can see myself being close to them. But I dont wanna push it lol, I still felt a lil outta place..anyways I realized geneva's kind of a ditzy driver, lol (dnt take it personal) but I still love her! I showed them my house and they loved it. BRANDON ACTUALLY ACTED NORMAL!!! hahaha...And then I asked them if they can take me to work, I felt soo bad when the coupons I gave them expired, I didnt want them to think that I scammed them to gimmie a ride! I tried to pay them back but they wouldnt except it..lol..=| I owe you guys!!!
  
• Ive been working out, yep! I ran went swimming did some laps around the pool and stretched, which hurt like hell I also have to keep up with my teeth face and scar healing treatments, not to mention my hair. I think my hair is thinning!! ugh im soo old. Im gonna buy that ovation cell therapy IT BETTER WORK! lol.. But not when brandon did this random ass backflip into the water, he was all calm and talking to me then he gave me his hat and jumped in. it was like some punk rocker ish...haha it was soo funny.
  
• I started reading the Bible again yes, another reason I have to get a car...so I can request saturday off for church. I feel like Ive been neglecting Him and havent been paying tithes and barely finding time to read the bible, which is horrible! I apologize and Im going to get myself back on track!!
  
• Im working on a song So I did some research found some beats (but the one I want is expensive as hell!) and I wrote a song to the sample beat b/c I dont want to buy it till i buy the car my bills are out the way and I save up $ for the winter in case no one hires me..I love it its a slow song but the bpm is 110+ so hopefully brandon gets hired so i can buy this beat and get some studio time. I really dont know how to go about doing this, but I dont want anyone I know to be there. This is a BIG step for me seeing as how shy I am around singing. But I have to find someone Im comfortable with enough to practice with them. I dont want to rent a studio and not have practiced, it would come out crappy then. I think Imma talk to my mom. I also dont know if you have to hure somebidy to push all those buttons in front of the sound proof room in the studio! ugh im so lost. I would ask brandy, but she's being and emo person right now, she thinks I got money moved up in life and left her. We got into an arguement which I suck at doing, she was like ur so random!!! & I was like your cat is your best friend. and the ONLY REASON WE'RE NOT HANGING OUT is because your girlfriend probably changed you soo much (i can tell) and I cant afford to pay for you and me. Im not willing to chill if I have to pay for it all. All she does is sleep now and school nothing else...anyways, yea, Im sposed to be on screenwritersradio.com Im gonna check it out
  
• I also attended the playboy party it was smf! (so much fun) but this guy pulled me to the side and took me to his hotel room, I was sooo scared I thought he was gonna try to rape me! but he questioned me and told me everything I need to know to get in. All except, me meeting the CEO I couldnt find him because all these guys were in my face! anyways it was so awesome! people assumed everyone there was 21 because its playboy right? so guys were sending me drinks and giving me their cards, one guy gave me his jacket and left his car keys in it! I was like wow! every guy there was SOMEBODY i met the owner of the biggest club in the u.s. and I can go on & on talking about it but Im on a time limit. It was smf!! I dont know if I made the cuts but Ill find out and let you know! I hope to God I did because it wasnt what I thought it would be it wasnt slutty at all.. I got invited to another event which Im so happy about. I just hope I dont screw up and they drop me! I think theyre all trying to help ease me into the world of playboy because they asked me to come back, i think so people will start recognizing my face and asking about me! The guy that pulled me to the side asked me, how would you like to live in l.a.!!! I was like heck yea!! only thing i regret that night is that i never got to be introduced to the ceo which could hender my chances tremendously! =| hopefully I see him at the next party! I loved it soo much! Minus the girl drama these two girls tried to get me to get the other kicked out because some girl was mad because I was chosen 2nd and she tried to cut me off..anywho, i wanna ask chanelle who the owner is but I dont wanna come off desperate so Ill wait. I also forgot to bring a pic like she told me! major minus! but hey this thing is every year I just have to look out for it and go next time, because the ONLY major holdback is that im not 21 and by next year if I get chosen Ill bee 21 by the finales and then I cant attend playboy mansion! Itd suck if I won this year and then couldnt go bc of my age =[ lemme get off this topic b4 i write a bool

• my relationship with Brandon is good overall we cant wait for him to get hired. maybe i can take break! and then he can help with bills, hopefully nothing stupid happens and he doesnt get fired or quits because its harder to work with a record..We get a long most of the time and he cooks and cleans and i luv him. Its just when we argue that makes me wanna leave him, but weve only argued once recently. those classes really help and hes changing, as geneva says, hes a man..hahaha..so yea

Ill keep you guys updated, ill post pix later b/c I gotta run to work!! (which reminds me I wanted to get pix with geneva and prisana!)

ttyl

Amber Mmmm!
xOxOxO

Videos

You guys have only seen pix of me & my life. Lemme show you some videos:

• On my way to burbank for my t.v. show auditions:

• Visiting my great grandma at her grave site for her 92nd birthday: One year passing anniversary (yes, she passed away around her bday)

• Last but not least (for now)...my doggies: Ice (the blue pit) and honey (the brindle):

Hey guys! Ugh lets see its wednesday and I work for the REST of the week..Oh and this pic to the left it an image of what I did on my day off: tan at the pool. Anywho I have a lot to do:
1)Get ready for this fridays playboy casting. I still need an outfit.Im really nervouse about this because Im the exact opposite of the "typical" playgirl: Im a brunnette thick and a big butt. No huge boobs, no blonde hair, no skinnyness! OMg come to thinkn about it the only reason Im going is because playboys casting manager thinks I have what it takes and I should go. WELL THEN WHAT AM I WORRIED ABOUT?!?! The decisions hers! Im still nervous, lol. She said to dress playboy style: sexy yet classy! ugh! that helps! I get my check today which means tomorrow I have to get my nails and feet done find the right outfit makeup hairstyle shoes EVERYTHING. I need to hire an assistant but Im on such a budget from moving into my new house! Im freaking out! Okay, I think Im gonna wear this hot peach backless shirt (which is long enough to be a skimpy dress) Im with black heels? Ionkno yet. I dont know whether I should try to fit in and flat iron my hair or not. Diversity or fit in?? !! Black eyeliner. I admit it, Im gonna buy a MAJOR push up bra. If I do get chosen, then I have to take off work...AHHHH! Anyways, my bf's ex is trying to be all friendly with me and Im tryna figure out why. Weird, we hated each other back in highschool. I think she just wants me to find a photographer for her pix. (I hate when girls contact me to help them, I usually ignore them) but this is a different case, I actually wanna see how this plays out. I need to get out anyways because GENEVA & PRISANA wont message me back. So, we'll see wont we! Okay Im gonna post a video later of me modeling my audition options. Tell me what you think! What else is going on? Brandon is this ("") close to getting a job, Im going back to school in the fall Im looking for a new job trying to learn how to drive, and Im buying a new car asap. I need to get back to peter about this t.v. show and BY NOW im halfway crazy. Just keeping you updated!

LOVE YOU GUYS!!!

Amber Mmmm!
xOxOxO

Hurting...

Im on my period...tmi...i kno! But lets see I have to leave to work soon so lemme hurry up & update you! ..I went out to eat with my boyfriends family and they saw our new house. That was, difficult, seeing as I tense up around his mom. It took me forever to eat in front of them (his mom stepdad brother gramma & gpa) but I finally decided I wanted seafood alfredo (we went to olive garden in grossmont) before that I was working, which I hate now because we have a crappy new manager. His mom bought me another candle to add to my collection. I have a make up show to do tomorrow for chanelle nager, the Manager of Playboy Golf, and friday she wants me to audition for playboy. Im so nervous because Im not exactly the typical "playgirl" you know, blinde hair skinny big boobs. Im the EXACT OPPOSITE!! Brown hair, chubby, big butt! lol but we'll see. I wanna go on a diet but I love f0od too much. Im stopped collecting cans on my fourth bucket because I saw a rat. eww. I still walk. I dont know much else to tell you! Im rushing this post because Im sposed to be gone to work sooo, Ill post another blog laters...OHH OHHH!!! I GOT MY PERMIT!!! Now I just need to learn how to drive! Also my babe has an interview with hardrock hotel...YAY...Im still searching for another job and uhh waiting for this t.v. show to call me back...ionkno what else to say, but imma go eat & go to work and hope this new guy doesnt try to rape me next (hes such a pervert) : www.myspace.com/jabizzal

You decide..

Newho Im still tryna learn how to work this, blog and twitter (im gettin old) I had to have my lil sister tell me what jerking is (stupid) and my co worker show me creations.

Ill get at yall laters,lol!

Amber Mmmm!
xOxOxO

Monday, no time to blog rigth now. Will repost later!

Weather:68° F 59° F
My Thoughts: Its whatever to me, either way I dont have a day off till sunday. Hopefully.

20° C

Green of the Day:Promise Not to Peek:
Heeeeeeeey good lookin’. Whaaaaaaaaatcha got cookin’? How ’bout…being a patient chef and not opening the oven until you’re really, really sure the food is cooooooooked?

So we changed the song a little! We hope you sung it because we mean it: when you’re cooking up something in your oven, every time you open that oven door up and peek at your food, you let out a lot of heat, putting your oven to work with reheating itself and using more energy. I know, I know, it’s tough to wait and see if those cookies are about to burn, but set a timer, try that oven light first, and you’ll end up saving just a little more.

My Thoughts: This is actually an old post. They didnt have one up for today. I know a lot of gasses get released when u open a heated oven, so save the planet, save $$, and save gas. But my real thought is: whats going on?!

Daily Bible Verse: 1 Corinthians 15:21-22 - For as in Adam all die, so in Christ all will be made alive
My Thoughts: Basically it staes just as we all die because of Adam's sin (Eating from the tree of knowledge & disobeying the Lord, he was cast out into the world and unto sin, sin, which causes us to perish); we are made alive again by Christ (He died for our sins to save us, so we made have eternal life). Good way to put it!

Horoscope:It's challenging for you to know exactly what to do today. First, everything looks good, but then you realize that you have made a faulty assumption and your reasoning has gone awry. Impulsively fixing a bad decision with another one will only compound your problem. Instead of making it worse, do what you should when you are lost: Stop. Don't take another step until you have regained your position. Ask for directions, if necessary. Then, and only then, should you continue on your way.
My Thoughts: Hmmm, this applies to my love life i think ;]

Quote of the Day: "Discontent is the first necessity of progress."-Thomas A. Edison
My Thoughts:

Top on iTunes: ..Boom Boom Pow...
My Thoughts: Ugh! Someone take them out!

Strange but true News: Woman Calls 911 Over Skimpy Shrimp

HALTOM CITY, Texas (April 9) — A woman called 911 to report she didn't get as much shrimp as she wanted in her fried rice at a Texas restaurant.Haltom City police on Tuesday released the taped emergency call, in which the customer is heard telling the dispatcher "to get a police officer up here, what has to happen?"

The customer also says: "He didn't even put extra shrimp in there."

The upset customer had left the Fort Worth-area restaurant when an officer arrived Monday afternoon.

Restaurant workers say the woman had been denied a refund after leaving with her order, then returning to complain.

Cook June Lee says nothing was wrong with the meal, and that "some customers are happy. Some are not.

Embedded video from CNN Video

My Thoughts: Crazy Ppl & food...I'd do the same =D

In SD: The whale stink continues: In torrey pines beach.
My Thoughts: Poor whale =/

Sexy Sunday??

Okay so first things first, let's get the basics out the way:

Weather:66° F

18° C

/56° F
My Thoughts: Good, I dont feel like working hard today!

Daily Bible Verse: Matthew 28:2-6 - He is not here; He has risen, just as He said

My Thoughts: They didnt have summary for this scripture. I think it shows that God keeps his word and his will be done.

Green of the Day: Take Inches Off Your Booty: …by keeping your wallet nice and slim. The next time you hit the ATM for some fast cash, consider saying “No” when the machine asks you if you want a printed receipt. All those little pieces of paper add up, and if you can see the withdrawal online instantaneously, or you’re good about keeping a check register, then who needs it? For copious record-keepers, this tip isn’t for you, but for those of us who print the receipt just to casually glance at the balance, consider just saying NO the next time the ATM asks you if you want a print-out.

My Thoughts: I have been taking the paper receipts lately, I did stop but Im gonna put a note in my wallet as a reminder.

Horoscope: The Moon's return to your sign today could be a bit overwhelming as you are flooded with a variety of emotional messages that can contradict each other. Resist the temptation to react to each feeling one at a time; instead just relish the experience of your changing moods. If you are struck with the desire to stir up a bit of mischief, go for it. You'll still be able to be responsible later on when others are depending on you.

My Thoughts: There are to things in my life that this can pertain to: 1) My family: Overwhelming. I dont know who to trust in my family because everyone has a bad side to them. I dont know who to trust now and who to not. Whats worst is Im attached to my mom & gpa business and they have enough information to ruin my life/credit. 2) work. I started working two jobs since my fave manager, chris quit. Im not sure what I should do to ensure that I can keep my place in the worst of times. I really dont want to work my life away but I cant move back home (I dont want to. Too much drama) so I have to do what I have to do. I NEED TO LEARN HOW TO DRIVE! Mischief? At coldstone. I dont feel like working thats it. Im the only one who maintains the store so I deserve a break. Its not like they pick up after me like I do them anyways. I can hold my own.

Quote of the Day: "I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody." - Bill Cosby

My Thoughts: Say that ish! True, so true. Something I need to work on. I want to be an entertainer in life, a crowd pleaser! Whatever it takes: singing modeling acting dancing. Im giving modeling a shot right now. I get highly stressed when someone is upset with me, but I need to learn to say "fxck off" I cant please everyone & Ill die trying.

Strange But True News: (April 11) - This cat's a klepto.An Idaho woman says her 1-year-old feline, Jack, has been stealing underwear and other articles of clothing from neighbors' homes, CBS 2 reports."It's his fetish. He collects clothing mainly at night," owner Judy Waring said.Waring said she began noticing random pieces of clothing around her house in October, CBS station KCNC-TV reported. She said she's speaking out about Jack's sneaky ways because she no longer feels comfortable keeping silent.In addition to underwear, Jack has nabbed hats, shorts and 27 pairs of gloves.

My Thoughts: Wow. Really? The craziest things happen in these days. Thank God he doesn't live by me, I have Victoria Secret's Ill kill for!

.......jk!

Top News in SD: SAN DIEGO -- The carcass of a roughly 20-foot-long whale that had washed up a Del Mar beach and then towed back to the ocean washed up again at a Torrey Pines beach Saturday. The dead marine mammal was first spotted by a beachgoer at dawn, said San Diego lifeguard Lt. Ed Vodrazka. "It's still in the same condition," he said. "It's still intact." Officials confirmed that the carcass was the same one that washed up on the sand near 29th Street and Ocean Front in Del Mar Friday morning, Vodrazka said. San Diego sheriff's deputies and Del Mar lifeguards decided to dispose of the carcass by towing it back out to the ocean. This time, San Diego lifeguards want to try something different. Lifeguards called the Scripps Institution of Oceanography in La Jolla to see if they wanted the carcass for research, Vodrazka said. If Scripps researchers don't want the whale, lifeguards will dispose of the mammal at the Miramar Landfill, he said. Susan Chivers of the National Marine Fisheries Service's stranding team told The San Diego Union-Tribune yesterday that the whale most likely had been dead for several weeks. Chivers also said that she does not believe the carcass is Diego, the wayward whale that had been swimming around San Diego Bay in recent weeks because of the decomposition of the carcass. Del Mar lifeguard chief Patrick Vergne told the newspaper that the whale had a large gash at the midline and may have been hit by a ship's propeller.

My Thoughts: Poor whale! Is that the sameone that was having fun in Seaport Village?! I think they could have done something to help him get back to his home. Now he's dead! ..Pour One Out: R.I.P. Mr. Whale =/

Top 10 iTune Songs: Boom Boom Pow-B.E.P.

My Thoughts: Need I even say?! Someone take their spot!

Okay, so todays Sexy Sunday:
I dont know what to write about. Im gonna post this & then post a bulletin on myspace. Once I start getting questions, Ill repost.

Thanks Again Loves & tata!

Amber Mmmm!
xOxOxO

Watch them all!

Im reposting so that there is no excuse nonwhatsoever that you wont watch this. PLEASE! Watch them and get back to me: myspace.com/14688493

*

*

*these are just two. Go to youtube.com/worldslastchance or worldslastchance.com

!!

Thank you && HAPPY SABBATH!

Okay..I skipped a day...so what!

16° C

Hey guys!

Sorry I didnt write yesterday but I'll make up for it! Thursday I got called into work because my favoritest manager QUIT! I was so upset. So there goes my first day off! Now I guess we're hiring this coldstone lady. Shes been working at coldstone for 8 years and was the district manager so she ran multiple coldstones at once! She's old & strict and I'm scared its not gonna be as chill as it used to. COME BACK CHRIS!!! =[
After I was done working/being harrassed by the new kid, I went to my bffff's (brandy's) bro's baseball practice, which was freezing. I spetn $9.50 at panda express and I kinda feel bad because Im on a budget & her mom wanted me to buy her coffee. Anywho we went to her house which is totally new! I so wanna know how people with no jobs can afford to go to school full time and stay home still afford bills inc. cable and then buy a laptop & new furniture. She doesnt do anything illegal. SOMEONE LET ME KNOW! haha. But yea we watched a movie then brandy set up a mock photoshoot for me. It was pretty bootleg, you can catch it on www.blogtv.com/AmberMmmm haha after that I went to sleep woke up at three went back to sleep then woke up at 7 it was pouring rain! Brandy wasnt leaving it was clear, so I left. I went to my moms who took me to do taxes change my address buy my busspass which raised to 68$ with a surcharge of 2 bucks! ugh. Then I went to the mall with my sisters watched coraline which was sooo scary for a cartoon lol. After I took them to wendy's which was like $4.30 and spent $1 at Tilt. All the clothes sucked at victora's secret so I went to ross because I was supposed to buy work pant/shoes and bra's. I ended up buying my sisters first thong and two swimsuits for them, 1 panty for me and two bra's for me. It totalled up to $33.50. Oh and I payed my 82 dollar phone bill. So how much did I spend?! Not to mention I gave jimmy 10$ (my moms b.f.). Grand total??
*Okay so here's whats happening today:
weather? crappy: 62° F 55° F

My Thoughts: crappy! Oh well work will be easy today, hopefully my hours dont get cut!

Bible Verse: Matthew 27:64-65 - Go, make the tomb as secure as you know how

My thoughts: Thats verse was totally random. But the quote was when jesus was crucifies and they placed him in the cave-room thing and didnt want him to rise for the dead or for anyone to fake it. Pontus Pilate wanted no one to believe in Jesus so he can have controll. Point is, he rose anyway. Jesus overcomes all is what Im basically getting out of this. No matter how secure you're beliefs are on whats possible and not, he can do anything and he'll prove you wrong. That the only secure thing in this world is God! && Happy Sabbath!

Quote: "Winners never quit and quitters never win."-Vince Lombardi

My thoughts: They never quit, they just have breaks!
Horoscope:Domestic disagreements may be tabled today as a temporary truce is declared. Nevertheless, it's apparent that the underlying tension is still building and will need to be addressed sooner or later. But placing your differences on hold doesn't indicate that your conversations will be trivial. It's up to you to find common ground so you can make progress in other issues that can be discussed at this time

My thoughts: Omg, I really dont know what situation they're talking about! either the guy at work who's cool but is one horny lil boy, orwork, which Im debating I should take up my 2nd job at kfc before the offer expire, or my brandon, we're total opposites, or my gpa, or whoever! Im lost!
Green of the day: Nuzzle that nozzle:When the gasoline nozzle belts out that satisfying “click” and shuts down, let that sleeping dog lie. Topping off gas tanks releases extra huge doses of benzene into the great blue yonder, which ultimately finds its way inside the otherwise pristine lungs of the Prius driver behind you.

My thoughts: I dont drive. But if I did I would. (nuzzle the nozzle, lol).
Strange but True News: (April 10) - Something didn't look right to a neighbor who saw a man with a big TV, riding a bike on an Ohio street. So the neighbor snapped a picture and gave it to police.Police agreed. They arrested Joshua Nuckles, 23, on Thursday, the Cincinnati Enquirer reported.Knuckles was charged with three counts of burglary and two counts of breaking and entering.
* http://news.aol.com/article/man-on-bike-with-tv-photo/423318 see the image there.

My Thoughts: My mom was a booster but she never did anything as risky as stealing ON A BIKE! come on now. You gotta be pretty desperate or...an idiot. Imma myspace him!

Top 10 on iTunes: Number one...still...boom boom pow

My Thoughts: Already expressed 'em!

Happy Sabbath!

I'm not making it to church today on account of my b.f.'s car is still broken. Hopefully God will forgive me.Oh and if you havent noticed, IT'S SATURDAY! Yes, I am NOT a jew! I am a seventh-day adventist & proud of it! Basically the beliefs are all the same, just we believe saturday, or sabbath, is the day of worship. We also take the Bible more seriously, or at least I do. I believe I am born with all the holes I need so I dont have any piercings or tattoo's. I also dont eat pork or shellfish its bad for you! I belief in my beliefs because it all makes sense when searching for evidence. The Bible says: Be not of the world, meaning dont follow the worlds trends. Not fashion-wise! But everyone goes to church on sunday. Another thing backing it up is, Jesus was crucified on friday, rested on saturday (the holy day, the seventh day, Sabbath), and ROSE easter sunday! The roman catholics have been around for the longest and try their best to lead away from God. Pontus Pilate the crucifier of Jesus was Roman Catholic. If you take a look at the temple where the pope is, all the crosses are upside down. I could go on forever preaching to you but I think worldslastchance does it better. Youtube them! I urge you to watch all of their video's. Please! Here is one:

Go to youtube.com/worldslastchance

Listen to Freedom Time by Lauryn Hill (its on my music player on my page)

Ill explain it all if you message me and will explain video by video song by song each sabbath.

Thank You!

Amber

Well I dont have a set topic for this day so...

...Im just going to babble. SO today I finally get a day off! whew. I worked 47 hours last week & IT.WAS.HELL. Anyways luckily I have tomorrow off as well and I dont get called in hopefully because today is a working day off. One of those days where you have to take care of ALL other business besides work. Business that would, for me, consist of: Changing my mailing address, Cashing my check paying bills, seeing my close friend: brandy, shop: buy a chair some cleaning items, a heater, some bra's and panties, new work clothes/shoes. I also want to go to the DMV and take my written test & i want to work out today and email some important tax and banking papers to my ever so helpful grandpa. If thats not a work day I dont know what is! So I logged onto my.aol.com and was updated on things that interest me & I want to share them with you:

Quote of the day: "Tough times never last, but tough people do" - Robert H. Schuller
My Thoughts: I soo agree with this quote. Tough times are only for the moment and they seem so torturous because we're living in the moment. They all pass and if we're tough enough to stick through them, we only get stronger!

My Daily horoscope: Saggitarius:You might place high expectations on your friends today, and you assume that they will come through for you. Although they might ultimately meet your standards, the Full Moon in the 11th House of Social Groups is opposite the Sun in your 5th House of Arts and Crafts, enabling you to have more fun now when you actively pursue your own self-interests.
My Thoughts:Funny how I planned to spend my two days of with my brandy-love (myspace.com/crazy_borricua). Maybe I should save a piece of time for her but take care of my business alone. I dont think she wants to spend her spring break doing tasks with me! When Im done we'll che0 (chill)

The weather: Cloudy: 64*F
My Thoughts:...why is it always cloudy on my day off?! I wanted to go to the beach!! =/

Green of the day!: (pulled from greenissexy.org) Titled: Your nesxt crush!:You might already know all the benefits of lemons from our recipes this month, but here’s just one more citrus-y, wonderful tip for your cleansing pleasure: you can use the actual lemon like a sponge! Take a lemon half and cut down the center so you can flatten it with your hand. Yes, that’s right: crush on that lemon! Then, clean as you desire! Since you know that lemons are disinfecting, you can clean counters, sinks, and stoves with lemon loveliness. If you spot some post-swipe pulp, take a wet cloth to the counters. We heart your crush, too.
My Thoughts: Dont be fooled! It sounds childish but dont be scared to try something new! I am!

My daily Bible Verse: Matthew 26:31-33 - Even if all fall away on account of You, I never will
My Thoughts: Basically, this verse states that everyone will stray but if every person on this earth hates you, I wont No matter what. I hope I can be this way in the toughest of times. I know Ive been tested before I usually tend to fall for temptation. I even had !a period where I didnt know why God was treating me mean and I was upset with him. But luckily Im back on track and everything happens for a reason!

Strange but true news: Skeleton Found in Tree Years After Death
My Thoughts: So basically the story is that an 18 year old was hiking in Germany and found a bone, he brought it to the police and they searched and found the body in a tree. The man wouldve been 69 yrs today but shot himself in 1980 when he was declared missing they found the gun attached to him by rope. I think the weirdest things happen. (who would pick up that bone and carry it ALL the way to a police station?!) Anyways, I feel bad for the poor fella I could only imagine what he went through. God bless him and his family.

Top ten songs on iTunes: Ill just state number 1 which is: Boom Boom Pow - Black Eyed Peas
My Thoughts: Boom Boom Pow?! B.E.P. is different and somehow people like it. I think its a good song to act silly to and if they can make retarded music I can too! haha Im listening to jango right now. Jango's a really cool site where you play a few songs you like and the site learns your music style and pays old and new songs you'll probably like. Join me at jango.com !!

Also, My sticky notes:
The Weekly Blog Topics:
Monday: Whats wrong with the world?
Tuesday:My careers (modeling, coldsone, what I want to do now)
Wednesday: My personal life (love, problems, etc,.)
Thursday:
Friday: Free Topic Fridays
Saturday: Spiritual
Sunday: Sexy Sundays! (receive emails about any questions they want me to answer)
My Thoughts: These are my thoughts! lol, but I really need people to start reading my blogs and give me some advice!

Well, Im kinda hungry so Imma go make some pancakes bacon and eggs and start my day! Ill probably blog later about my day.

Thanks for stopping by!

Amber Mmmm!
xOxOxO

The Global Warming Crisis

Hey Guys!

I'm running a little late for work. Ive been on blogspot since 6:30 trying to get my page up and I have to leave at 8:30 and I'm nowhere near ready so please forgive me I will edit this post later!

Okay so I'm always concerned on what's happening with the world and, lately, global warming is one of the biggest crisis next to "the great depression part. ii". I constantly log onto stopglobalwarming.org and update myself and now you as well. I received a notification from them saying that an ice shelf the size of Connecticut is about to break off. The size of connecticut?! Wow that's HUGE! Although ice tends to stay afloat for a space of time just think about the impact the ice will have on the sea level around the world! When the ice finally goes under/melts, sea levels around the world will rise and homes and all kinds of society will be ruined. This is why I find it important to help the global warming cause. I dont like to focus on that word much because the more you focus on negative the more you will bring that thought to happen. I've learned that from a book called "the passion test" and "the secret" but thats a whole nother blog! Instead I want to turn the focus toward HELPING. Picking up our trash as well as others. Recycling does a lot as well, and in turn you earn good money. Earning money is real important seeing as tons of people are losing their jobs thanks to the economy as well. Im learning to appreciate the value of a penny. I save all change in a 5 gallon water bucket and it really adds up! I also recycle from my job (coldstone) and home and I earn lots of money. We'll discuss my home life later. Im trying to set up a structured blogsite where there are certain topics on certain days. (example: Mondays: whats wrong with the world Tuesdays: Personal, etc,.) I find that saving our world is more important than saving our money because in the end money doesnt keep you living, not everyone. Its just a scrap of paper. We have to do what we can to stop this global crisis. Animals are becoming extinct the world is heating up. In san diego, we dont really get any rain. Our water is also limied. Two summers ago it was so hot we had a lightning shower. No rain just lightning. In the winter in the south, horrible hurricanes strike. Earthquakes are more massive which bring on tsunami's killing people who never got the chance to live, which veers off into my spiritual side, which you will hear more from on a set day. Volcano's underwater and on earth are errupting. These are the end of days! What can you do to ensure you are safe? Research: got to greenissexy.com I LOVE THAT SITE! Its ran by a group of girls, One you may know as Rachel McAdams from MEAN GIRLS. The site gives you tips on the little things you can do to help. I have an organized bulletin that keeps me updated without having to go to all the sites on my.aol.com. Set one up! Thats all for now, I am running REALLY late. I just had to speak out on what we can do to help the world we live in. I'll speak more of it later. Thanks for coming by and CONTINUE! I hope I keep you interested.

Love & Peace,

Amber Mmmm!