poetry update

12/29/2009
3:25pm
Separation: Day 1
The Pain of loneliness that’s what I feel
I’m like Alice in Wonderland finding myself in a place so unreal
When we give it the second chance our love gets torn apart
A restraining order I never even put up from the start?
I guess this is what’s called modern day Romeo and Juliet
Can’t they see what separations done to them? How could they forget?
A relationship whose basis was built on regret
And to protect our love, we used…nothing but threats
Now all this has gotten us is one single thread
The thread that we both hang from
The only way we now connect
And if it were to break I admit I must confess
While I’ve already lost half my mind trying to stay with you, I may as well lose my rest
Because you were the only love I wanted to claim as mine
Even though every time I confined to someone were fine we were always in some bind
I wish sometimes we could just leave our past behind
But I guess something’s let go and some things stay and that’s why loves stays so blind
One month of isolation from one another and after that maybe even a year?!
And I can’t take it that much longer that’s why I cry my written tears
And for one year in these four walls I will adhere
In fear, that within that year someone might move closer here
Here where you ought to be, where you once sought to be, and now I have no clue
If red is the color of our hearts then why is love so blue? (The love it emits so blue?)
And with this many obstacles, can love still be considered true
Because it seems there’s someone else in between me the hill and you
But for now I don’t care, wanna have fun? I’ll still be there
Life isn’t fair so Imma play the tortoise while you play the hare
(edited out: escaping to a place so unreal; im like the tin man no heart but all steel; ironic, protect us by threatening the other)

Sick

The ex

My reality show cc

Me n beerandiii

My Not So Day Off

Hey Guys,

I havent updated this thing in a while s0 let me update you:

Its 10:05am and mygf is upstairs mad im not up there with her making breakfast
A dog is licking me
and my job is trying to call me into work, but Im debating wether I should go or not, because Im always coming into work and ditching the rest of my life, $$ sounds good, but now that I think about it I have driving lessons Ive already paid 200 for, so I cant...OH WELL!
Ive stopped being so dedicated do working, I no longer work 2 jobs, I broke away from my abusive bf even though he has improved, I feel I can be treated better, not to mention hes being held on trial for chasing me down the street with a knife. I finished my 1st semester in college w.o dropping out!! All A's 1 A- =/ oh I wrote a poem! Ill upload tht and some pictures. Hmm how do I feel?? I feel like Im being a liddo more independent, yea, part of me wants to go back and work things out just because weve been together so long, but when I realize how much of an asshole he still is, My dreams are crushed and I change my mind, also, modeling, Im kind of not on it as much because My BIG opportunities I was working for were handed to me...at a cost...I thought the rumors were false, but they really do want sex....sigh!...anywho the relationship Im currently in is okay, It was perfect at 1st then, when I told her I still had feelings for brandon, Im guessing she stopped trying, I think shes me sumtimes, but we still have fun, maybe Im just worrying too much, I also battle in my head with this whole thing and God and some other things, like having kids and how I want someone whos going to do the right thing and go far, everyone says hey were young dont worry, but I like stable things so I want to get this love issue out the way so I can work on my career. I think sometime maybe I need to be alone, I havent been single since, like the 8th grade really, like, for months at a time. Im working on getting my own place bc all my stuff is at brandons n mines but theres a ro so I cant c him, my moms house is still crazy, and here....welll I want to be in a less dramatic/smoke-free environment. Im also overcoming my driving phobia and have classes today at 12 and the morse game at 230 and shannae wants to chill wit me after but idk. Last nite me gully kay brandy n dajonna drank n tried to see avatar but it was sold out...thats about it 4 now =]

Love Ya toodles!!